A friend of mine shot me an email the other day, and in one part of the email he asked me this:
“How do you respond to girls when they tell you they are models? I’ve been getting that a few times in my gaming career and still have no clue how to reply… should I go: “Hmmm, modelling? Why did you chose to work as a model when you could have chosen…?” or should I downplay it?”
That’s just about every guy out there’s fantasy: dating a model. They’re everywhere we look, all around us: newspaper and magazine ads, television commercials, even in the movies. Models are, in many ways, the very picture of feminine beauty personified in nearly every culture around the world.
But how exactly do you get a date with a model?
The fact is, most guys, when they run into a girl they find out models, tend to panic a bit and freeze up. “Oh no,” they think, “what do I do? What do I say?” Something tumbles out of their mouths, but isn’t quite as smooth as what they’d hoped it would be, and they end up tripping over their own two feet talking to this beautiful girl with her prestigious career.
If this sounds at all familiar, well, don’t worry, because it used to happen to me too. It doesn’t anymore, and when I meet models these days they even tend to get rather excited about me. And helping you learn how to date models, too, is what I aim to do here today.
MISTAKES MEN MAKE TRYING TO DATE MODELS
If you want to date a model, you’re going to want to curtail the following mistakes:
- Acting impressed. This one’s pretty much instant death for attraction if you do it: acting impressed or wowed or amazed by a girl’s status as a model (or pretty much anything she says or does). A man coming across as impressed tells a girl that he’s outside her circle; he isn’t in the know; he’s the complete opposite of an insider.
- Asking the wrong questions. This is another sign of an outsider. You’re usually going to know a question’s wrong if you’re paying attention; if it feels clunky or unwieldy or not particularly savvy at all, it probably isn’t a good question. So a question like, “Oh. How do you like being a model?” while seeming quite innocent can quite quickly communicate that, just like the guy’s who’s impressed, you don’t actually know the first thing about models. Avoid clunky questions.
- Returning to the topic. This is one of the mistakes I made with that girl who danced for Beyoncé mentioned above. When you return to a topic, a woman knows it’s on your mind and she knows you’re impressed. Even if you acted nonplussed initially, if you bring it up again later she knows it’s a big deal to you.Once the subject of her being a model has been moved off of, it’s important that you don’t bring it up again – and don’t get too excited about the topic if she does.
- Treating her like a celebrity. Really, celebrities don’t like getting treated like celebrities (some of them like the attention, true, but they don’t want to be treated that way by someone they’re going to bed with). And the fact is… most models are not celebrities!
HOW TO DATE A MODEL
Mistakes out of the way, how do you actually pull it off? How do you date a model?
Well, remember the core ideas behind avoiding those mistakes we just talked about – you want to stay cool, not be impressed, and act like an insider. Those are going to be key to how we go about getting to know a girl who models, and showing her that we’re different from all those other guys who lose their hats when they meet her and she lets slip what she does.
Let’s get onto some of the specific tactics and techniques, then, that you’ll employ with a girl when she drops those vaunted words: “I’m a model.”
- Be interested in your words, uninterested in your tone. This is actually one of those huge, giant things I keep meaning to write up a proper post on, but I never end up getting around to. If you sound bored in your voice tone, but fascinated in your words, what you’ll find is that you strike exactly the right chord and end up getting the models you meet opening up to you very fast. You sound like you’re just making casual conversation, but aren’t terribly engaged – which is far different from what girls who tell people they’re models are accustomed to encountering.
- Ask her if she does print or runway. I got this line from my friend David sometime back; he has a great, detailed post on screening models, dancers, musicians, and flight attendants here: challenge screening. David likes to really dive into profession here and show off his knowledge of the industry; I’m more of the mind to show a little familiarity and then move quickly off the topic as I don’t see it as all that helpful toward advancing the seduction. Six in one hand, a half dozen in the other; the results are the same. You show her, quite clearly, that unlike all the other men you meet, you most definitely are NOT an outsider.
- Ask her what else she does. I love this one. Make sure you show her the proper level of “just enough” interest in her modeling first; treat it as though she’s just told you she’s a hairdresser. Then ask her what else she does. This communicates to her very fast that modeling to you is not a big deal – which is usually going to surprise her. She’s so used to people she meets fixating on that and getting stuck on the topic or freezing up and trying to run from it, that you addressing it, then moving on, as if it’s some other, more ordinary thing she’s mentioned, is going to jar her out of autopilot… and make her a lot more curious about you.
- Ask her if she makes a living doing anything else, or if modeling pays the bills. This is another one that will shake her out of autopilot and get her intrigued by you and enjoying talking to you in a hurry. She’s living this glamorous life of telling people she’s a model, and having them fawn over her, and then YOU come along… and see right through her… and not only realize modeling might just be her hobby, and not her profession, but you outright ASK her.
You’d be surprised how many formerly aloof-acting women will turn into little girls around you when you ask them this. Their cover’s been blown, and they’ve found a man who really, honestly, sees them for who they are. Note: be very careful to build her back up and make her feel good after she tells you she isn’t a full-time model, because you’ve basically “called her out” on this one, and if you don’t build her back up you strongly risk her going into auto-rejection.
- Continue on with the conversation and interaction as if she’s anybody else. This one’s supremely important. You can’t treat her like she’s a special case just because someone takes pictures of her. You need to move fast with her, follow your process, and treat her the same as every other girl. That’s how you get results with models; that’s how you get them in bed. That’s how you date a model.